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Friday, January 25, 2013

Kroger, "Not just for retirees" :-)

Yesterday I was at my local  KROGER  buying a  bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Peaches, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.  
What did she think I had, an elephant? 

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 10 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,
I stopped to pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

Thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

KROGER won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.  They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. 
Well, now - is this better than the constant BAD NEWS?  Don't worry, we'll get back to it soon.

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A Dog’s Heart as Big as an Elephant

November 1, 2011 ·  
Bella and Tarra
Bella and Tarra
Dogs love us unconditionally– no matter age, disability, rich or poor. 
But, to share a companion 8,000 pounds her senior for eight years truly shows us what dogs, and elephants can teach us.
On October 26 Bella, companion to Tarra, an 8,000 pound elephant in Tennessee, died.  They made world headlines together, and featured on CBS for their amazing ability to share their lives together in food, drink, play and sleep… and in the end, what seems like amazing compassion.
Check out the story of this amazing pair of Beaty and…the Beauty.

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