Maybe Coffee Will Kill Us After All

A new study offers further proof that coffee research is schizophrenic.

August 15, 2013

(Photo: Coffee and Cigarettes, 2003)

Your memory will get better. It will kill you. You won’t commit suicide. It will kill you. You might not get Alzheimer’s. It will kill you. You might not get a stroke. It will kill you.

Tracking scientific research on coffee consumption is to subject oneself to peaks and dips more dramatic than any caffeine rush and crash. Apparently, the medical profession can’t decide if coffee is going to save or ruin us all.

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But wait! It might not be that fourth cup per day, or the 28th cup per week, that’s going to end up leading to your demise. It may just be a symptom of a generally unhealthy lifestyle. For example, coffee drinkers were found to be more likely to smoke and have heart and lung problems. They also drink more booze too. “Heavy coffee consumption behavior might cluster with other unhealthy behaviors such as sleeping late, and eating a poor diet,” co-author Xuemei Sui told The Guardian.

So if I’m up before 7 a.m., eat well, and don’t drink too much I can maintain my steady drip of caffeine? That may be a rose-colored-glasses reading of this latest coffee study, but I’ll offer myself up as a one-man case study—check back with me in 17 years.

Global Rumblings

Wednesday, August 28, 2013